Walk in the Park

Many of you know what the phrase "a walk in the park" means, however for those that struggle with these, like my mother, it means that something will be very easy.

Today, I decided that I would use my wonderful supermom powers and take my girls to a park. Let's just say, it was "no walk in the park".

Imagery has always been a strong suit of mine, so let me give you the fly on the wall view.

The park I decided to go to was already a major feat. I chose one of those parks that have a wooden castle playground. Every inch of this playground is like a maze of twists and turns and most of these twist and turns are only 2 foot high. Let me remind you again the ages of my children, a one year old and a three year old.

As we approach the playground my 3 yr. old immediately wants the swings. Great idea most of you would be thinking, however they have sectioned off the baby swings from the adult type swings. So, what shall I do with the one yr. old? Needless to say she is crawling around in the grass behind me eating whatever she can find. What?!, it is extra fiber. Well after the normal attention span of a 3 yr. old, 5 minutes, she wants to run off climbing. So, now I have to grab the squirming 1 yr. old that was having fun, to chase the older one. After another 5 or so minutes, my oldest wants to play in the sand. Yay! Something we can all do together, or so I thought. Remember those tiny twists and turns, well the 1 yr. old finds one of them and proceeds to get herself stuck in a place she doesn't wanna be. No matter how much baby talk you know, you cannot give directions to a one yr. old on how to get out of an awkward place. Here comes the fun part, I get to make myself as short as one of those twists and turns and pull her gently out. Boy, wouldn't you have liked to have a real image of that.

After multiple times swinging, throwing sand in every direction, and seeing how small momma can make herself, the 3 yr old now has decided she needs to take a potty break.

Back story for a moment, my daughter is in the 10th percentile for her height, so one time when she went to use an adult toilet, the automatic flusher went off and she went flying. Well lately she has built up enough courage to try the adult toilets again.

Potty break time, she decides she wants her froggie toilet which I did not bring, upon hearing this the all out temper tantrum starts. Screaming to go home, all the way to the bathroom. After selecting a stall, I reassure her calmly that this one mommy has to flush. Nothing. I try to reassure by holding her. Nothing. At this point I am getting pissed and my one yr. old is trying to spy on the person in the next stall. I finally try an ultimatum that I thought may work, going home and taking a nap if she doesn't pull it together. My strong willed daughter's response, "I wanna go to bed."

Potty break is over, I march back to the van with a squirming, screaming one yr. old and a strong willed 3 yr. old, telling the world, "I wanna go to bed."

As you have now just "seen", a walk in the park, may not have meant with toddlers.